Back-to-School Lessons for Mothers and Daughters

The start of a new school year always brings a mix of emotions—fresh opportunities, new routines, and sometimes, hidden anxieties. For mothers and daughters, it can be a season that tests patience, deepens connection, and reveals how much we rely on one another.

At Passport Journeys, we believe these everyday transitions are powerful opportunities to build stronger bonds. Here are three lessons we’ve seen help mothers and daughters grow together—inside and outside the classroom.

1. The Lesson of Letting Go

Back-to-school reminds us that independence is part of love. Mothers want to protect, but daughters need space to explore, fail, and try again. Therapy can provide tools for navigating this balance—helping mothers practice healthy boundaries and daughters build confidence in their own voices.

2. The Lesson of Listening

Sometimes the most healing response isn’t advice—it’s presence. Whether it’s a five-year-old sharing playground stories or a teenager opening up about social pressures, daughters thrive when they feel heard. In therapy, we teach active listening strategies that strengthen empathy and trust between mothers and daughters.

3. The Lesson of Legacy

Many women are parenting while grieving the absence—or the complicated presence—of their own mothers. Our daughters inherit not just our traditions, but also our resilience. Therapy creates space to process that grief and to intentionally choose the patterns of love and communication we want to pass down.

A Season of Growth

This school year, we encourage mothers and daughters to reflect:

• What can I release so she can grow?

• Am I truly listening, or just responding?

• What legacy of love do I want to carry forward?

At Passport Journeys, our therapists walk alongside families in these very questions. Back-to-school isn’t just about academics—it’s about building emotional skills that last a lifetime.

If you’re ready to strengthen your mother–daughter relationship this school year, we invite you to explore therapy options with Passport Journeys

Empowering Mother-Daughter Dynamics: 5 Expert Tips for Initiating Therapy Together

Dear Mothers and Daughters,

In the intricate tapestry of our lives, the bond between a mother and daughter is one of the most precious threads. It’s a relationship that evolves through shared joys, challenges, and countless moments that shape who we are. However, sometimes we encounter bumps along the road that make us realize we could benefit from a little extra support. If you find yourselves at such a crossroad, considering therapy together might be the nurturing step forward you both need.

Here are five gentle and affirming tips to help broach this delicate conversation and embark on this journey of growth together:

1. Choose the Right Moment: Finding the right time to discuss therapy is crucial. Opt for a calm, relaxed atmosphere where emotions are not heightened. Approach the conversation with positivity, focusing on the love and strength within your relationship.

2. Express Your Love and Appreciation: Start by sharing what you cherish about your relationship and your aspirations for its growth. Let your mother or daughter know how much they mean to you. Speak from your heart and, if possible, share your own positive experiences with therapy or express your excitement about embarking on this new adventure together.

3. Listen and Validate Concerns: Encourage open dialogue by expressing your willingness to understand their concerns about therapy. Are they worried about confidentiality, cost, or simply nervous about opening up to a new person? Listen attentively, without judgment, and address their questions with empathy and reassurance.

4. Invite Collaboration: Approach the idea of therapy as a collaborative effort to strengthen your precious bond. Use “I” language to express your desire for mutual growth and understanding. Instead of placing blame or making demands, frame the conversation around shared goals and the potential for deeper connection.

5. Respect Their Pace: Give your mother or daughter the time and space they need to process the idea of therapy. Avoid imposing deadlines or ultimatums, as these can create unnecessary tension. Remember, willingness to engage in therapy must come from a place of genuine openness and readiness for change.

It’s important to acknowledge that not everyone may be immediately receptive to the idea of therapy, and that’s perfectly okay. Each individual's journey is unique, and forcing someone into therapy is neither productive nor respectful of their autonomy. If your mother or daughter remains hesitant, consider exploring individual therapy as a means of processing your emotions and nurturing self-growth.

Above all, approach this journey with love, patience, and an unwavering commitment to nurturing the precious bond you share. Together, you can navigate the path toward deeper understanding, healing, and resilience.

Written with expert advice from Lynn Quackenbush, LCSW-S, and Candice Holloway, LPC-S.

"Be My Valentine, Mom": 3 Ways to Show Your Mother-Daughter Relationship Some Love This Season

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As Valentine's Day approaches, it's not just about celebrating romantic love; it's also an opportunity to cherish the special bonds we share with our loved ones. This year, why not take the time to show some extra love to the most important woman in your life — your mom? Whether you're still living under the same roof or miles apart, here are three heartfelt ways to nurture and strengthen your mother-daughter relationship this season:

1. Quality Time Together: There's nothing quite like spending quality time with your mom to deepen your bond and create lasting memories. Plan a mother-daughter date filled with activities you both enjoy, whether it's going for a leisurely walk in the park, cooking a delicious meal together, or binge-watching your favorite movies. Disconnect from distractions and focus on being fully present with each other, engaging in meaningful conversations and laughter. Cherishing these moments together will not only strengthen your relationship but also remind your mom just how much she means to you.

2. Express Your Appreciation: In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to overlook expressing gratitude for the love and support our moms provide. Take this Valentine's Day as an opportunity to shower your mom with words of appreciation and affection. Write her a heartfelt letter or card, expressing how much you value her presence in your life and all the sacrifices she's made for you. You can also create a personalized gift or keepsake that reflects your shared memories and the special bond you share. Showing your mom that you recognize and cherish her role in your life will undoubtedly warm her heart and deepen your connection.

3. Share New Experiences: Spice up your mother-daughter relationship by stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new experiences together. Whether it's trying out a new hobby, embarking on a weekend getaway, or taking a fun class together, embracing new adventures can strengthen your bond and create shared moments of joy and excitement. By stepping into unfamiliar territory together, you'll not only create unforgettable memories but also deepen your understanding and appreciation of each other's interests and perspectives.

This Valentine's Day, let's celebrate the unbreakable bond between mothers and daughters by showing our moms just how much they mean to us. Whether it's through quality time together, expressions of appreciation, or shared experiences, let's nurture and cherish the precious relationship we have with the women who have shaped us into who we are today. After all, there's no greater love than the love between a mother and her daughter.

How to Navigate Difficult Conversations

Ask any therapist and we’ll tell you one of the most common issues in relationships is a lack of communication.

Perhaps you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, or grew up in a conflict-avoidant household, or maybe you assume the other person already knows what you’re thinking. Regardless, sharing our thoughts and feelings can be hard, especially when it comes to serious topics like mental health or trauma. Over the years, I’ve developed the following guide to help my clients (and myself) have more effective discussions about tough topics. Keep in mind this is only an outline, so feel free to use what works for you and discard what doesn’t.

Consider the setting

There may be no “perfect time” to have this conversation, but there are certainly bad times. Consider the time of day, day of the week, and proximity to important events and anniversaries. Even when these conversations go well, one or both of you may need time alone afterward, so be sure to account for that.

Also select a place that feels comfortable and safe for you, but is not threatening to the other person. For instance, your favorite bar may feel good for you but not be a great place for your mother, who’s in recovery. Somewhere with a lot of space and a reasonable amount of privacy is ideal. A loud, crowded restaurant or a cramped three-hour flight probably aren’t great options. Instead, think along the lines of a coffee house, outdoor patio, or a quiet room in your house.

Set the tone

This is a situation where you want to be taken seriously, so it’s important to set the right tone. Let them know in advance that this is an important conversation, so they can get in the right frame of mind. You could say “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something for awhile, but I’m nervous” or “Can we sit down and talk, there’s something that’s been bothering me the past few days.” Use whatever verbiage feels comfortable to you. Cluing the other person in ahead of time also gives them an opportunity to say if this isn’t a good time for them–maybe they have an event later or need to take a work call in a few minutes, and a different time would be best.

State your needs

I know this is way easier said than done, but trust me: being upfront about what you’re needing from the other person will help both of you have a more effective conversation. Without stating your needs, the other person may automatically respond the way they think is best, like minimizing the problem or offering unwelcome advice. You can say “I’m just needing you to listen,” “I might need a hug after,” or “I’d like your advice after I finish talking.” Even if the person is not able or willing to meet your needs, it’s easier to enforce a boundary (“I need to end the conversation here,” for example) when you’ve already stated your needs.

Say what you need to say

Be as honest and direct as possible without being hurtful. Clearly share what you need to and try to be brief; no need to use flowery language or sugar-coat it. You’ve laid the foundation for a serious conversation and the other person has likely prepared themself, and may have even guessed what you’re going to say. Use “I” language (e.g. “I feel anxious” instead of “You made me feel anxious when…”) so the other person is less likely to feel attacked and get defensive. The more you can focus on your experience or perspective, the better.

Follow-up with a question

This signals to the other person that you’re done talking, at least temporarily, and gives them permission to engage. You could ask “What do you think?” or “What would you do in this situation?” Give them space to share and don’t be alarmed if they don’t have anything to say just yet; they may need some time to process their feelings or find the best way to communicate them to you.

Here are some tips:

●      Don’t assume how they’re feeling. Instead of “You’re probably mad” or “I know this disappoints you”, ask them directly: “How are you feeling about this?” or “What are you thinking right now?” Prepare yourself for their honest answer and try not to hold it against them.

●      Ask “What do you need from me?” or “What would you like to do now?” and do your best to meet these needs if it’s reasonable to do so.

●      You may want reassurance that they agree with you or still care about you. This is okay, but again, be prepared for their honest answer and don’t hold it against them.

Share your feelings

Let the other person know how you are, emotionally. You can say “I’m feeling relieved at getting this off my chest” or “I’m still a little worried.” Any feeling is okay to feel and express, but don’t expect them to “fix” it. This is likely not the only conversation you’ll have with this person about the topic, so don’t feel compelled to say everything you’re feeling in the moment. Hopefully this conversation lays the groundwork for you to talk more openly in the future.

Effective communication is foundational to any healthy relationship, and the greater our ability to communicate clearly, calmly, and with intention, the better our relationships will be.

 Written by: Candice Holloway, LPC-S

Discover Your Personal Values: A Journey of Self-Exploration

Hello there!

Personal values are a fundamental aspect of our lives, influencing the decisions we make daily as a human being, you understand the significance of values in the context of personal growth and mental well-being. In this essay, I'll explore the concept of personal values and why they are crucial in decision-making, breaking down complex psychological ideas into easily understandable terms.What Are Personal Values?

What are personal values?

Personal values are the principles, beliefs, and standards that guide our behavior and shape our character. These values are not innate; they develop over time through a combination of our upbringing, cultural influences, personal experiences, and interactions with others. Think of them as your moral compass, directing you toward what you consider right or wrong, good, or bad.

The Role of Values in Decision-Making

Now, let's delve into why personal values are so essential in decision-making, both in your role as a mother, sister, daughter and all the roles you fulfil, and why values are important in everyday life.

1. Clarity in Decision-Making

Personal values provide clarity when faced with choices. They act as a filter, helping us distinguish between options that align with our values and those that don't. We all know that clarity in decision-making is vital when guiding us through the complex terrain of life.

Imagine a person who has experienced severe trauma and is struggling with whether to confront their abuser. Their personal values, such as justice, self-respect, and personal growth, will play a significant role in determining the best course of action. By considering these values, they can make a decision that aligns with their inner compass and is more likely to lead to a positive outcome.

2. Consistency in Behavior

Personal values promote consistency in our behavior. When our actions reflect our values, we feel more authentic and in harmony with ourselves. This consistency not only fosters a sense of integrity but also helps build trust in our relationships, including the strength and quality of the relationship you cultivate with others.

For instance, if one of your core values is empathy, you will consistently demonstrate this value in your interactions with clients. This consistency creates a safe and supportive environment where others can explore their trauma and emotions, knowing they can rely on your empathetic response.

3. Conflict Resolution

Values also play a crucial role in resolving conflicts, both internal and external. In your life and relationships, you may often encounter someone who are dealing with inner conflicts stemming from challenging experiences. By helping them identify and align with their core values, you empower them to navigate these conflicts more effectively.

External conflicts, such as disagreements that can emerge in families, can also benefit from a values-based approach. When you and your family member share common values, it becomes easier to find resolutions that are in line with those values, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment.

4. Goal Setting and Achievement

Personal values are closely tied to our goals and aspirations. They give us a sense of purpose and direction in life. If you are working in therapy, you and your therapist can set therapeutic goals that are meaningful to you. These goals often revolve around values, such as healing from trauma, rebuilding relationships, or finding inner peace.

When you and your loved ones’ base goals on values, this can put you on a path that not only leads to personal growth but also enhances overall well-being. This process can be likened to planting seeds in fertile soil – when values and goals align, the potential for growth and fulfillment is immense.

5. Emotional Resilience

In the realm of challenging or wounded relationships, emotional resilience is a critical factor in recovery. Personal values contribute significantly to emotional resilience. When individuals are connected to their values, they have a source of inner strength and motivation that helps them weather the storms of life, including the aftermath of painful or wounding experiences.

Consider someone who has survived an adverse event and is struggling with feelings of hopelessness and despair. By exploring their values, they can find meaning in their suffering, fostering a sense of resilience and the belief that they can overcome their challenges.

Summary

In conclusion, personal values are the guiding lights that illuminate our path in decision-making. They offer clarity, consistency, and a sense of purpose an individual and in as a member of a family or even as member of society. Values are not just abstract concepts; they are the compass that helps us navigate the complexities of trauma, relationships, and personal growth.

As you continue your work to heal from psychological wounds, remember that values are not static. They can evolve and change over time, reflecting the growth and transformation that occur within us. Embrace the beauty of the human struggle, for it is often in the darkest moments that our values shine the brightest, guiding us toward decisions that lead to healing, resilience, and a more meaningful life. 

Written by Lynn Quackenbush, LCSW-S, Owner of Resilience Centered Psychotherapy of Houston

A Reflection After My Mother Passed Away

“If I could go back in time, I would have changed the way that I accepted my mother. I would have allowed her to be more human...” - Lacey Tezino

I didn’t see my mother as a normal, flawed human being. She wasn’t allowed to fail - at least not without my criticism.

I give everyday people so much grace. I provide my own narratives for their shortcomings and have a well of empathy for ways that other humans show up in this world.

Did I do this for my mom? No way! I relentlessly kept score. I wanted more than she gave and more than she ever had the capacity to give. Now that she’s gone, I can be honest about my unrealistic expectations.

My mother galavanted around this earth in a way that enamored and annoyed me. She was so free and didn’t tie herself to any strict boundaries or expectations that didn’t serve her soul. My mother lived in a world where she was the hero and the villain, but she accepted both roles. She never apologized for things that she meant to do and made no excuses for things that she was actively working on.

Now that I’m a mom myself, I sometimes wish for half of her courage to separate my identity. My world revolves around my kids and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it is exhausting to come second to their every need. In my opinion, I didn’t even come second with my mom. I made the list, but I most certainly was not number one or two.

It took me a long time to realize - that’s ok. She was more than ok. She was beautiful, smart, powerful and she loved me. She loved me the way that she could, not the way I wanted. I could have given her more grace, but then again - our journey wouldn’t have been as messy and wonderful.

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Written by Lacey Tezino, Passport Journeys Founder & CEO